One of the things you'll see if you're interested in this sort of thing if you ever go read the writings of the Columbine killers that the teens they're very interesting they're very much worth reading especially I think it's Dylan Klebold who was the more literate of the two but he tells you exactly where he went after brooding and brooding and brooding on his his isolation and segregation from mankind so he's out there beyond he's out there in a chaotic domain and because he's tortured by that his thoughts take an unbelievably dark turn like it's unimaginably dark if you're interested in that sort of thing you could read that there's another book you could read called panzram PA and Zed ra em and it's a fascinating book it's about this guy who I think he raped 1200 men so that sort of tells you what sort of guy he was extraordinarily physically powerful and brutal and malevolent and he was kind of a juvenile delinquent type and they put him in a reform school and he was not well treated in that reform school it's sort of like the worst of the Canadian residential schools and when he came out he was not a happy boy and so he spent the rest of his life trying to be as destructive as he could possibly imagine and purely consciously with malevolent intent and then and and believe me he was pretty destructive he kept track of the dollar value of all the buildings he burned down he tried to start a war between Britain and the United States like he was all out for all-out mayhem his dying words they're gonna hang him he told the guy who was gonna hang him he said hurry up you who's your bastard I could kill 12 men in the time it takes you to hang me and that's exactly the sort of person he was and he made friends with this physician in the in the prison who he thought was like the first person who ever did something nice for him gave him a dollar for cigarettes if I remember correctly and the physician encouraged him to write his autobiography and so he did and it's it's available and so if you want a view because you know you you always think of people you think well people have good intentions you know that you especially think that if you're naive and agreeable so all of you who are sitting there out there thinking people have good intentions you're probably high in agreeableness but that's not always the case people can have very dark motivations that are fully conscious and very well elaborated and panzram was know he was smart and his book is very well written and he tells you exactly why he thought the way he thought and so it's a good glimpse of exactly this sort of thing where you can get to if you want to by brooding on your specific misfortune you know in his his basic credo was that human beings were so reprehensible that they should just be eliminated and believe me that's what he was trying to do and these people who do terrible things like the Columbine shooters that's exactly what four block of a better word they're possessed by its sheer malevolence and the Columbine kids had a much more spectacular catastrophe planned than the one that actually occurred and they knew it was going to be a full-blown media circus and lots of these people who engage in those sorts of mass murders they know about the other mass murderers and they're engaged in a competition and the competition is who can do the most brutal thing the fastest something like that so you can't just be thinking about people who've you know who have good intentions but have somehow gone wrong if you ever meet someone who isn't like that and you think that you're just a tree with ripe fruit to be plucked
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