WIP
Host: Hi and welcome to the antique road show! What is this we have here?!!! A genuine antique Arizona Senator! What a specimen! Where did you come across him?
Visitor: Well I kind of just inherited him. Its like he's just always been around. He sits around in his senator chair muttering something about "my precious"
Host: What a magnificently accentuated sense of self importance he has.
Visitor: Yes and he's not shy about saying just about anything to get others to help him hold on to "my precious"
Host: Yes the classic test of antique senators is if you stuff a sock in his mouth and he keeps on talking as if nothing has happened.
Visitor: How much is he worth?
Host: Er well people usually have to pay to have them removed. ||||| This looks like the type that stays until they carry him out boots first. Make sure to keep him well dusted.
Visitor: Darn! No room in the garage for new things as long as this one keeps hanging around. I keep him in the garage next to my wooden indian. He gets mad when the indian beats him at checkers.
This one has all sorts of unacceptable behaviors.
Paid for by the non-friends of John McCain
Summary of Odd Positions for a Republican
- "I will clean up the planet," McCain said. "I will make global warming a priority."
- McCain Feingold: Corporations not allowed to speak out. Talk show hosts not allowed to speak out. But senators are ok
- Bashes republicans harder than he hits democrats > given way too many reaches across the isle
- jealous about his senate seat….he appears to prefer being a senator over being president because he is fighting harder for his seat than he did to be president
- He is very senatorial
- Should have opposed the bailout. Shows that at his core he is a go along get along guy instead of a leader on principles. Does what he does to be liked by press corp. Running for class president or senate?
- fundamentally undemocratic to hog the senate seat for such a long period of time. only ego justifies such a long duration
- Wants to regulate vitamins > Great …what other trivial things can John work on? Any one with a sense of smell can tell we are on the edge of something big and he's futzing with the supplements
Other approaches toward "Antique Road Show" schtick
- Genuine senate seat turns up at the show > the snag? There is a senator that refuses to leave it after 24 years! He gets placed next to the cigar store wooden indian and gets beaten at checkers by him.
Other Ideas
- I am John McCain's pet rhino
- Robo McCain – Senator of the 22nd century
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